Is It Okay To Be Selfish Sometimes?

  • Just lately, I’ve had a number of clients for whom this question would resonate quite powerfully.  Most of us would see “being selfish” as a negative. I’m sure we’ve all fallen foul of hidden agendas and the selfish desires of other people and possibly those quite close to us in our lives.  I for one remember my mother telling me not to be selfish for one reason or another.  Quite frankly I think that’s one memory most of us would have.  But, when you’re being that completely unselfish “will-do-anything-for-anyone” can it go on to have a detrimental affect on your own health?

    I’m sure we’ve all done it.  Committed that unselfish good deed and got little or no thanks or respect for doing so.  Not that we’re looking for thanks if we’re being truly unselfish, but how does it make you feel when your efforts go completely unnoticed?  Angry?  Resentful?  Hurt?  All of the above would be common and natural.  But ask yourself this;  “If I’ve been compassionate, helpful and unselfish in my deeds to help others and me efforts go unnoticed, why do I end up feeling bad”?  Surely, the other people should be feeling bad?  Well there’s the problem.  If they haven’t noticed your unselfish good deeds in the first place, they’re hardly likely to notice you feeling bad about their actions (or lack of).

    The trick, of course, is not to let it affect you negatively.  Harbouring to much resentment, anger, frustration and so forth can only bring you down.  It is the start of the slippery slope of negativity that can end up affecting your immune system and have you catching every bug that’s going.  If you take a good look at yourself and realise that you have already harboured such negative feelings, then work on letting them go.  While you keep hold of them they can only do you harm and certainly won’t let you get on with life.

    YES!  It is okay to be selfish sometimes.  When that means you take some time for yourself to keep yourself in good health (mentally and physically), that can only benefit your loved ones and all the other people close to you.  Go on – I give you permission to be a little selfish sometimes!


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